I seem to go through various *spurts*. Whether they be energy, desire, diligence in getting things done. These spurts can last anywhere from morning then die out in afternoon time, or sometimes as long as a week or two. But they always die down. I always find myself lacking in the drive to get the house cleaned after weeks of having it spottless. Maybe its the realization that I spend a lot of time cleaning. Sometimes the kitchen gets cleaned 3+ times a day during these spurts, sometimes 2-3 loads of laundry a day during the spurts. The bathrooms are spotless, everythings clean and tidy. I enjoy that, but eventually its like...gesh, can I have a break?
I do the same with our Business. I'll be churning through things left and right. Got those invoices out? Check. Got that new hosting account/domain name registered etc? Check. Everything done? Check. Then, I'll lull again. Usually when I'm getting things done with the Business the previous example of the house cleaning goes down the drain, and instead of 2-3 loads of laundry every day, its 5+ loads on the weekends, and 1 huge kitchen clean a day.
It stems to my parenting. I know I am a kick ass mom. I take my kids to the park every day. Given there are days we dont make it. I dont think that we will today, because I have lots of errands I have discovered I need to take care of (such as invoices etc) that I've been pushing off, and now have a pile of stuff to do, so well skip it. But we went Yesterday, and I do this for at least 1.5 hours a day. I like to get them out of the house, running around, breathing Californias version of fresh air. But sometimes...its a drudging chore for me to do this. I simply DONT WANT TOO. I dont want to do anything with them. Nothing.
It comes and goes in spurts. However, I'm starting to notice that when the spurts die down, so does my attitude/mood. I feel depressed. I feel...burnt out. Ian better not even look at me funny because I'll more than likely throw him in time out. I just...feel like I'm losing it. I have no idea why my spurts die so hard. Its really quite frustrating. I am a firm believer in Mind over Matter. My swim coaches ultimatum of "just do it" ringing through my ears, I drudge through it. I crash even harder then.
I think its time I look at this in a different light. Perhaps its as simple as changing the routine. I am an excellent morning person for getting things done. However when I wake up the kids wake up and blow the hold idea of getting stuff done in the morning. Perhaps an earlier bedtime, and an earlier wake up time is in order. I could get the things I need to get done out of the way first thing in the morning. The kids would wake up, we'd have our breakfast, get ready and go to the park. Well I know for a fact I get burnt out on the park because of how often we go, and for how long. So perhaps instead of 1.5 -2 hours, we could do 30-45 minutes, and then later in the after noon supplement with a walk around the complex just to change things up. Go exploring. That would work...
I also dont like excuses. My swim coaches other saying was "excuses are like armpits, we all have them and they all stink."...I've had to work really hard to let that one go. Mostly because sometimes, we have excuses....
I dont know, I dont really know where I'm going with this blog. I think I feel the beginning onset of the "down"time, and I really have been good about getting everything done lately I dont want to colapse back into the pit. I can acknowledge that I have a problem with this...I just dont even know where to begin looking for the answer...
On the plus side...quite literally sadly enough lol, I'm down 7 lbs. I think my success with that right now and feeling this come on is depressing too. I'll stop going to the gym, I'll stop caring, eat what I want and whatever...sigh...well. The kids are sleeping. I'm tired from keeping them out of my bed all night, I might lay down with them....I'll shelfe...god my spellings horrible. . these thoughts for later :)
Jackie